SIXTY NINTH HASH -HARES PABST & ENIGMA MEAT -44 BLOCK WALK FROM MULTNOMAH VILLAGE - Paid Attendence- 44.

SIXTY NINE is the most over rated number on the planet....

With a square root of ate something

and be honest a sex position nobody ever uses....ever...

Pabst Smear and Enigma meat probably beg to differ, but I digress as they set trail tonight....44 light-loafere'd, bed wetters Castaways and cutouts met in the Ship in sleepy Multnumah village to knock back dollar beers and hash. The Ship is a classic dive bar with a melting pot of smokers and video lottery players whom cheered us leaving the bar in search of trail..... Grannie Panties and Flaming Clitoris led the thirsty pack to the first nasty check and Blast Rag took out her chalk and marked true trail-which was a false much to Tinker Bells dismay.....but we got our collective shit together as the pack gathered at a Beer Check in the Park....Cold Cans of Pabst for everybody except Magic Markin ride who stayed sober for 38 minutes.....The trail then headed down down Multnumah and Barnicle Box in her blue (not a verb) mini running dress led us into a forested swamp trail and of course at the Dick Check Rectal Rooter stood at full attention as the hash GOD (god) stood agape....The second beer check was Rum and Cokes. A few of us short cutted the swamp section only to be greeted by a Cyote. Really.. HydroLicks had her inner thighs attcked by local foliage and Cum Magnet just sucked it all in....We took a trail on 45th much to Trunk Monkeys liking.....We were face first in deep shiggy with a sensation below, and trying to satisfy both urges (much like that 69 thing) we were soon headed to a Mysterious Meeting at Mystery Meat's humble abode.

Weekly Beer Check Weirdness

Apparently another Batistic Batalac made an appearance and proceeded to tell the hashers and coyotes to get the hell out of the neighborhood and I am told Killer Joe Gym and Elbow Pooperoni once again fought with the locals. Its all heresay on this one.

The first beer check was also somewhat curious with 40 swarthy hashers heading across a normal park only to dis appear suddenly into the woods. Not curious for us but a startling observation for a 4 year old on a tri-cycle.

Blue Moon Sightings

In some parts of the world tonight was a blue moon and we had some hashers we dont see often on Monday Night. (Once in A Blue Moon)

• Rectal Ranger - (has taken up the pogo stick)
• Pooperoni - (getting laid regularly in real life)
• Trunk Monkey - just back from a third place finish at the Nathans hot dog eating contest.
• Flaming C. - (it was nice to have her out hashing as she is always reliable for a well blaced F-bomb)
• Graven Image - recenlty hired as Mike Vic's lawyer.
• Frigid Hole - has been driving the NASCAR circuit.

AfterMath This was a joint run with OH3 so we started late, had a large roaring fire with assorted animals on the grill and tons of beer. Mr Smear did his usual snarky religion (which I think is the finest in the world) and then then we tried stumbled down the hill to find out cars.

Thats a story for another day.

Poopy Trail

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General Statistics about Kissing, IQ and Intercourse

Students with IQs above 100 and below 70 were significantly less likely to have had intercourse than those in between.•

Each additional point of IQ increased the odds of virginity by 2.7% for males and 1.7% for females.•

It’s not just home runs they’re talking about, either: a higher IQ decreased the likelihood of romantic contact in any sense, from holding hands to kissing, across the board.• For males with IQs between 70-90 only 50.2% were virgin, whereas those with IQs above 110 were 70.3% virgins

Go Get laid

Big Shitter