75 -Holly Goes Hashing
Dear Mom and Dad
I know it has been in awhile since I last wrote but, last night I thought I would head out of the suburbs and try something a little bit different. My friends Chum Guzzler and Frigid Hole convinced me that hashing would be the ticket for me. (Hopefully you have not read the IKEA stories). Well I get to the start and there is this cute guy named Granny Panties and a girl (they call girls Bimbos) named Hairy Krotchna are drinking Pabst Blue Ribbons beers – and 40 people showed up on Labor day for this thing known as hashing. Personally I would have rather been at the Victoria Secrets labor day half off sale, but here I was standing talking to some drunk person(s) named Rectal Rooter and Lips and they smelled of beer. I had a bad feeling in my loins. Well the organizers of this debauchery were the hares Stink Finger and Wet Spots ran off into the woods with a bunch of flour and and Stink Finger was mumbling swear words and when they left we stood around some more and drank more Pabst Blue ribbon. By this time I was into my third blue ribbon and I starting feeling loose and good and then I realized Mr Cream Jeans was going to run this trail with his two year old son. How hard could this really be.
Eventually we all started running down hill on a nice pavement road and you would not have guessed what happened next we followed trail down a bank with Poison Ivy and Mud (all the while some low lifes Shitty Kitty, Lion Queen, Big Shitter and God ) cheated like Pumas in heat
while I slid down a hill with the likes of O and Mystery Meat and had mud up my private parts and then we ran up another hill and we were greeted with more F*****n Beer.
I had a Bridgeport IPA at the beer check, but I was starting to get stupid drunk and a tad bit horny (don't know where that came from ) as the trail started going up. Slut Machine and Gym Nasty took a trail the wrong way (what fun is in that) and I could hear people yelling On-On from every where and some Visitor from South Carolina (lacking necessary Tools) and his wife were getting along fine. The end of theis debacle was at a dive bar on the top of the world named the SkyLine Tavern.
All my new friends (what a bunch of Dicks) stood around a drank a bunch of beers as we watched the most beautiful sky and ate delicious burgers and corn (I hate this Hashing thinG) and then these people (what a bunch of Dicks) started having this Religious thing (I told you this place is crazy) led by Mystery Meat. He was quite a funny minister or RA as when people (the fat Dude) interupted he snarled, "Excuse Me this is my Circle" and when they called up the Virgins , guess what Mom and Dad, I was one of the them.
I did a down down with 2 wankers and I beat the living crap out of them two downing my down down in 2.4 seconds leaving those boys in the dust....
These kind people asked me if I was coming back I said....
"Not very Likely".
Love Holly
Dear Mom and Dad
I know it has been in awhile since I last wrote but, last night I thought I would head out of the suburbs and try something a little bit different. My friends Chum Guzzler and Frigid Hole convinced me that hashing would be the ticket for me. (Hopefully you have not read the IKEA stories). Well I get to the start and there is this cute guy named Granny Panties and a girl (they call girls Bimbos) named Hairy Krotchna are drinking Pabst Blue Ribbons beers – and 40 people showed up on Labor day for this thing known as hashing. Personally I would have rather been at the Victoria Secrets labor day half off sale, but here I was standing talking to some drunk person(s) named Rectal Rooter and Lips and they smelled of beer. I had a bad feeling in my loins. Well the organizers of this debauchery were the hares Stink Finger and Wet Spots ran off into the woods with a bunch of flour and and Stink Finger was mumbling swear words and when they left we stood around some more and drank more Pabst Blue ribbon. By this time I was into my third blue ribbon and I starting feeling loose and good and then I realized Mr Cream Jeans was going to run this trail with his two year old son. How hard could this really be.
Eventually we all started running down hill on a nice pavement road and you would not have guessed what happened next we followed trail down a bank with Poison Ivy and Mud (all the while some low lifes Shitty Kitty, Lion Queen, Big Shitter and God ) cheated like Pumas in heat
while I slid down a hill with the likes of O and Mystery Meat and had mud up my private parts and then we ran up another hill and we were greeted with more F*****n Beer.
I had a Bridgeport IPA at the beer check, but I was starting to get stupid drunk and a tad bit horny (don't know where that came from ) as the trail started going up. Slut Machine and Gym Nasty took a trail the wrong way (what fun is in that) and I could hear people yelling On-On from every where and some Visitor from South Carolina (lacking necessary Tools) and his wife were getting along fine. The end of theis debacle was at a dive bar on the top of the world named the SkyLine Tavern.
All my new friends (what a bunch of Dicks) stood around a drank a bunch of beers as we watched the most beautiful sky and ate delicious burgers and corn (I hate this Hashing thinG) and then these people (what a bunch of Dicks) started having this Religious thing (I told you this place is crazy) led by Mystery Meat. He was quite a funny minister or RA as when people (the fat Dude) interupted he snarled, "Excuse Me this is my Circle" and when they called up the Virgins , guess what Mom and Dad, I was one of the them.
I did a down down with 2 wankers and I beat the living crap out of them two downing my down down in 2.4 seconds leaving those boys in the dust....
These kind people asked me if I was coming back I said....
"Not very Likely".
Love Holly
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