The Hash turns Thirty - 30
Hares Flaming Fart and Mr. Nasty
Location - New Market Pub - BeaverLand
Conditions -40ish Clear, Windy and Cold

The day was a little different with the sudden on set of post w-thing Darkness and Old Man winter was putting a long winded early season blow job on the Portland area. When the frost is on the Pumpkin that's when Flaming Fart gets a haring. The opening check was a bumble bee cluster fuck with ShittyKiddy leading the pack one way and WETSpots leading us the wrong way. What I love about these cluster conundrum checks that cars are flying by 89.9 miles per hour and half the pack is a beer or two in, But soon we were headed up the hill and ChumGuzzler led the way to manufactured psuedo good Shiggy which included a creek crossing. And for some reason the creek on this night looked like a macadam trail. SBD certainly thought so as she went ankle deep into the creek and Sniffy leaped the thing in one single bound only to get a stick in the balls thus limiting his future family size... I can only make up the next part as I was leaving the beer check HotBuns and GoDDamn Sniffy corralled me and 10 minutes later we were wandering through a smoky dreamy neighbor hood where no streets ran parallel and on a beautiful night we decided to turn off the flash lights and take in the night. Of course we forget to turn them back on or even look for trail. Thus another Monday night of roaming the streets of Portland....Lost.

And for those who have not experienced it works like this....

Sniffy has a half mind (.5)
Big S. ....ditto (.5)
Hot Buns ... 1/2. You multiply these and you get 1/16 of a mind with an added factor for that the toxicants and you see the trend. This isn't going to end well.


So I can only surmise.....What the rest of the pack did.....

here's my guess after interviewing those I could understand.

Katoy Toy -Took photos of StinkFinger talking to Ghosts.....Soon to be famous.
StinkFinger - Mumbled his way into a ghost and scared the living shit out of a ghost.
ShamooMoo - Legs froze off and are being donated to some third world country.
W-Man - Solved two and a half checks....at the same time....wandered dazed.
SBD- Blew threw a back check ...Winner of the Hash.
Pabst Smear - still pissed because the waitress at the start of the run said to him...."You aren't actually running are you"
Chum Guzzler - talked some local land owner out of his treats for tomorrow while making chortling noises.
Mystery Meat - most likely to end up in a Paddy Wagon or some bimbo named Patty's wagon. My guess is he was on his best behavior tonight.
Tool Box - she had a cut about 14 inches below her tool and her box so my only guess was she hurdled -well almost hurdled a Barb Wired Fence.
Wet Spots - A lot of hanging out looking pretty and hanging at the checks.

The Mega-Big-Little-Brew-Pub served us well as on in Apres. Down Downs were so I am told were done in a Land Speed record of 57 seconds. And we told stories and ate food.

Recipe - Hot Buns makes a Hoagy.

needed

2 slices of pizza
curley fries.

take pizza.....then curley fries ....then pizza .Its a FrenchFryPizza Sandwich.

• Next weeks run -Hare will be forementioned Hoagy Maker.
• Kudos to Flaming Fart for his first hash run. Kudos to the NastyBoy for haring with a virgin.

Ruefully submitted

On-On

Big Shitter

Halloween Facts O Fun

I just ate a handful of candy corn well 10 years ago, a product I hadn’t ingested in roughly twelve years. “All of the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911,” Lewis Black once joked. “Since nobody eats that stuff, every year there’s a ton of it left over.” But to me, it seems like as good a use of government-subsidized corn as any.
A few Halloween-inspired candy corn facts:
+20 million pounds of candy corn are sold each year.
+Brach’s estimates two billion kernels are sold each Halloween, amounting to 10 pieces of candy corn for every American.
+There are 5.4 calories in one candy corn.
+Want to make your own? Ingredients include sugar, corn syrup, honey, and carnauba wax.
+The recipe has remained unchanged since the early 1900s